It’s amazing how God is always working even when we can’t see what His plan is. This adoption has been totally different so far than our adoption with Miss Libby.With Libby we were informed of her birth mothers situation almost immediately upon joining with our agency. Within a week or two Libby’s birth mother was presented with our book and we were chosen by her and officially matched within a month of joining with the agency. We were not presented with any other situations and there were no other stories, calls or what ifs. We were matched in November and Libby was due in February so we had time to plan and we never had to consider any other options. This time around has been totally different, a whirl wind of emotions. Ups and downs and pure exhaustion.
We heard nothing the first month with our agency which really wasn’t an issue but was longer than with Libby so of course I was a bit antsy. Around one month in we got a call about a birth mother who about 7 months pregnant and was considering putting her baby up for adoption and they wanted to know if we were ok with her seeing our profile. Excitedly we responded yes and started dreaming of baby number three. Of course my heart was all a flutter that things were starting to happen and the thoughts of maybe this is the one began. We called a few of our closest family and friends and asked them to start praying and we waited. About two days later we heard back that she had decided to keep her baby for now, this was a bit of a blow as it was the first time we had been presented with a situation and it didn’t work out. I know that this is how lots and lots of adoption situations go but the truth is no matter how much you prepare yourself for the news of No this isn’t the baby for you, your heart still takes it very hard. So back to waiting we went.
One week later from the first call we got a second call saying that a baby boy had been born just that morning and they didn’t know much about the situation and were heading to the hospital to meet mom and baby, and asked if we would like our profile taken along just in case we might be a good fit for each other. You can imagine if I was excited before how much I was freaking out now with a baby that was not on the way but already here and could possibly be in my arms within days! My emotions were in over drive and I couldn’t even function. I was back on the phone with all my prayer warriors, girl friends and support team that I am so incredibly thankful for, sharing the news. Later that night we heard more about this sweet babes situation and were told that the birth mother would be looking over all of the profiles and would choose a forever family in the morning. Talk about not getting any sleep. I could hardly eat, move or breath without glancing at my phone to see if anything was coming through. That was a very long twenty four hours! We prayed and prayed and cleaned out the car and pulled out the car seat and a few pieces of baby clothes just in case and we waited. The next day we heard from the agency that the birth mother had chosen a different family. Honestly this was crushing. We knew God had a plan, the perfect baby for us but at that moment is was so hard to take. I felt sick, like I had lost someone I loved whom I had never met. I had to take some time to grieve but it was so difficult because it felt as if no one else quite knew what I was going through or how I felt. In some ways I felt silly for being so upset and feeling so lost but I knew these were things I was supposed to be feeling and I had to grieve in my own way. I was exhausted, I felt like I had been hit by a truck and I couldn’t go on being my cheerful self because it seemed like a piece of me was missing. I prayed a lot and was happy thinking of the family that would be growing. How their joy was so important too and how God had chosen them for a reason, because He must have known they needed this baby in their life at that moment and that there would be a different baby for us. It was a whole new struggle and set of emotions I have never dealt with before. I know though that God uses each of these pieces in our story for something greater and I am so thankful for that.
After about a week or so I started feeling better. I focused on all of our blessings, our happy healthy sweet babes and my loving family. I spent a lot more time cuddling and just being together and it helped fill me back up.
About a month went by before we heard anything again from the agency and then we got another call last Monday. It was another situation of a baby boy who had been born over the weekend. We again began to pray and wait. I usually do the majority of my work on Mondays and Tuesdays but as you can imagine I was pretty useless while waiting! Wednesday rolled around and we were supposed to be hearing back, I was at Noah’s book fair helping out at the school when I got the email letting us know that we had not been chosen. I felt that now familiar sharp pain of another no, but this time I tried to be more positive and focus on the fact that this must not have been meant to be and our forever match would come in God’s time not mine. I was happy and excited for the family that would be getting the most exciting news of their life and prayed for the sweet little boy who would be joining his new family soon. This time it was a bit easier because I had already been through it once but the sting still lingered underneath.
I had made an appointment to chat with our agency about a few things for Friday but had not scheduled a set time, so when the phone rang around 11:30am on Friday I assumed they were calling to answer my questions. Our adoption coordinator and I made a little small talk and then she said “well I’m actually not calling about our chat I’m calling because you have been matched!!” I was shocked, I had to ask her to repeat herself! I didn’t even know our profile was being shown and here we were matched just days after what we thought was another long wait until our turn. She went on to tell me all the details and I just grinned from ear to ear the whole time taking it all in. This was the beginning of our story. The moment that would begin the new rest of our lives. I loved hearing all about our babies birth mother and all of the details they knew so far of our little one. I knew all of the no’s were for a reason but I couldn’t imagine we would be matched with that reason so soon!
Adoption is a roller coaster ride, it is hard and scary and exhilarating and incredible and the most amazing blessing! This is only the beginning of the story of our baby number three but I can already tell it’s going to be an amazing story that we will be telling forever! God works in His own ways and His own time. I am so glad for that and that I get to be a part of such an amazing blessing that I know this little one will be!
We are so unbelievably excited to announce that we have been matched with our sweet babe due February 27th; let the nesting and baby planning begin! Thank you all again for all of the prayers and sweet words over the last few months, each of you is a sweet part of our story and we can’t wait to share the rest of it with you!! 😘
MelissaCongrats! Thanks for sharing your adoption story. We adopted our daughter last summer and I totally agree it’s a roller coaster. But you’re right it’s lots of emotions and heartache but you finally realize it was just part of the journey when you get that baby that’s meant to be yours, the one God and a very special birth mom have chosen just for you!
Belinda ButlerAs an adopted child, I am so happy for you that you have been for a new little one. I can’t imagine the roller coaster you have been on. As you know, in times like those, you have to just hold onto His hand and trust His plan no matter what. Now you have lots of time to get everything (including older sibs) for the arrival and it will be even more sweet for the wait.
EllenMy little sister is adopted and my parents waited for years with lots of let-downs before we finally were matched. I will never forget my mom receiving the phone call that they had a little girl for us! Reading your post almost brought me to tears; I’m so happy for your family. I know you’ve had Libby for a while, but I can assure you that in my own personal experience, having Jen as my sister for the past 15 years has been the greatest gift I’ve ever been given. I love her more than I can explain, and I’m sure your family will feel the same about the little baby that will be yours.
Shay @ Whine Less, Breathe MoreYou have a beautiful family!